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Issue Glue 007

I keep having this imagined conversation with Mr. T. The persona, or Laurence Tureaud? Yes. It goes, Me: “I have to ask you, Mr. T., is it still your policy to pity a fool?” Him: [dead stare]…. [Eye roll] Finally he says, “Some fools don’t get the full pity, only an ity. That’s a lesser […]

Issue Glue 006

That moment you pick up something you think is full and heavy—BUT NO, it’s empty! Like a milk carton. For example, sure. That someone completely drained and then put back in the fridge. Anyway, miscalculated muscle contractions cause a startling effect: 1) For a brief moment you. are. Superman. Lactose intolerant Clark Kent does not […]

Issue Glue 005

The middle class vacation is fraught with a double-edged indignity. The cost of parking? No, it’s that you can’t afford anything not rife with insipid advertising and other illusion-busting banalities. So, constant reminders of the artifice you’re in, and the sucker that you are. Yes. And the flip side edge? You occasionally think of the […]

Issue Glue 004

Who was that gorilla looking one? Um, Chewbacca? Yeah, I guess that’s it. …. Harrrrr!! Okay, why are we acting out these OVER HEARDs again? To see how well they age. If you don’t field test for timelessness, how else will you know? But you heard this one just LAST WEEK. IT WORKS TIM You […]

Issue Glue 003

The only reason I don’t get run down dozens of times a year is the other driver would wreck the paint job on his car. Faith in humanity waning today? Not at all. It’s the predictability of evil that makes it manageable. What about random aggression, violence, and destruction in the world? Well, I’m working […]

Issue Glue 002

Gruntled… Creet… Sheveled… Combobulated… Come on, one more. Pute. [Sigh] Remember how long ago we first played that game, back when the stakes were high and hesitations few? Wait, stakes high? You mean low. When we were young there was less to lose. No, if you die young a bigger chunk of future you is […]

Issue Glue 001

It goes without saying but, Edison and Tesla in a bromance could take a genre to the next level. How do you think electrocuting elephants on screen will go over? Go over? You mean go viral. You really believe there’s no consequence to your ambling exercise in mockery, don’t you. Was that a question? Main […]

Issue Glue 000

Hah, the dreidel game, right—I told the kids it’s entirely skill. So you lie to children on the holidays. That’s novel. I plant a seed. See, then later on I do a callback to explain— Tradition? Mythology? The syncretism of belief systems? —to explain how the best possible parliaments and presidents are chosen by the […]